Coaching to Make Meaning

Inventors bring lots of new things to our lives. They are creative and resourceful with a strong sense of social interest. They want to invent things that will improve the quality of our experience; things to make life easier, more efficient, and more fun.

In a sense, we are all inventors. We all seek to make meaning from the experiences we have in our lives. And we are quite creative about it. We are constantly inventing stories about what has happened in the past, how we either are, or are not, responsible for what happened. We invent rationales for doing certain things in certain ways, and we invent our futures based on the meaning we make of the past.

This is not a bad thing. In many ways our inventions serve us well. We all seek two primary social needs:  to find belonging with others and to feel valued. Making meaning of our relationships and experiences is an essential part of feeling relevant and making peace with our circumstances.

But, it is important to recognize that we are inventing. The truth we think we seek about life is actually more about meaning, and we assign meaning ourselves. No one can do this for us; however, having another’s perspective can be very helpful. Coaches are great at this.

For example, if you’re still holding on to a version of your life in which you play the role of victim, a coach can help you re-invent that story in a different way. After all, not all inventions are viable. There is no shame in junking an unsuccessful attempt. Inventors do it all the time.  Look at Thomas Edison. His eventual achievement was inventing not just an incandescent electric light, but also an entire system that contained 7 different elements necessary to make the incandescent light practical, safe, and economical.  He supposedly had over 100 attempts and worked for one and a half years, before he was finally successful in creating the incandescent lamp that changed the world.
So why not shed a little light on your own story, your personal invention? A coach would ask you some clarifying questions:
•    How is your current invention working for you?
•    Does it encourage you to see yourself as powerful, as important, as the author of your own destiny? Or does your invention portray you as a minor character, playing only an insignificant role in the story of your life?
•    Who are some characters in your invention that need to be written out?
•    What new script is required for your cast of characters?

A coach will help you take responsibility for inventing the life you want to live. There are so many options. Give up the fear that you will make a wrong decision. A coach can help you decide what you want and determine some small steps to get you heading in the direction of your desired results.

One reason the coaching industry is growing is that people are well intentioned. They commit easily to doing the things that will make a difference in their lives, and they fully want to follow through. But then life gets in the way, and they get distracted from their goals.  A coach is not just a good inventor, but is also skilled in understanding commitment.

What would it be like to have a trusted professional who will hold you accountable to begin living the life you’ve re-invented?

Tell me a fact and I’ll listen,
Tell me a truth and I’ll learn.
But tell me a story,
And it will live in my heart forever.

–Native American Wisdom

Believe in the Silver Lining

Change is a theme we’ve heard about a lot this year. Now that one fourth of 2009 has passed, how are you doing with the changes you were hoping to make in the new year? I like to check in with clients quarterly so they can assess how plans are coming and I am a fan of the plan, I must admit!

I have a feeling that 09 will continue to test our collective mettle.

Invest in YOURSELF

I was speaking with one of my coaching clients this week about all the fear that is surrounding us lately. The financial climate, the upcoming election, all of the regular stuff that just happens. What are we to do? How can we keep ourselves steady in the face of all this unsettling news?

One thing that always works for me is to laugh and have fun. I suggest you keep your social life alive and stay in touch with friends! I had an opportunity to do just that last week at the Pathways to Success Conference for Women presented by Women in Leadership of Central Illinois and NAWBO.

The Energy to Sustain

I’ve been noticing that I have lots of energy when it comes to creating something new. I get so excited! When my clients talk about projects, new books, anything that involves the spark of a new idea, I am sitting on the edge of my chair. Literally I am transfixed

A New Kind of Leadership

I’ve been doing a series of Leadership Seminars and I’m learning a lot! The first two seminars were titled Leadership and Self Discovery and Leadership and Understanding Others. The third in the series is coming right up on March 6 in Peoria, Illinois and is titled, Leadership and Collaboration.

The ideas and activities I’ve been presenting in the series come from my years of study and experience as a classroom teacher and principal, as a parent educator, as a teacher trainer and most recently as a professional coach working with business leaders. I owe a great deal of my knowledge base to the work I’ve done with the Positive Discipline

Vision for a new year

Happy New Year! How are you doing with this one? Do you feel prepared – you know, with your list of things to do and ways to change? Did you slip easily into the new year, relaxed and ready to enjoy all that 2008 holds for you? Or did you come kicking and screaming into January as though you are already late for something?

Fear not! It’s ok. It may even be better than OK!

Time for a Change

I am very grateful for both of my children. Even at 20 and 24, they are a continual source of joy to me and I learn so much from them.

Yesterday at Sunday breakfast my son commented that he knew the new job he was just offered was right for him. When I asked him

Establishing a Practice

This morning I woke thinking about the word “discipline”. I actually spend a fair amount of time talking about this word in my work as a Certified Positive Dicipline Associate. But I usually speak about the verb which means to teach or to guide. Today I was thinking about the noun as in having the discipline to rise early each day and do something for myself like walk or write.

What does discipline give us? It always seems daunting. When I think of people who have “discipline”, I think of them in an awesome way like they are larger than life.

What is your Job on the planet?

I woke up in the middle of the night last night. I’ve found it easiest to return to sleep if I leave my bed and go downstairs to read for a while. I can’t read anything exciting or scary – it must be quiet, meditative subject matter. For this, I highly recommend Wherever You Go There You Are, Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life by Jon Kabat-Zinn.

I’ve read this book before but it lives by my bed for just such sleepless nights. And last night I read a section that I just loved! I am particularly excited about the metaphor of each person as a gift.

A Thing of Beauty

Yesterday I had the distinct pleasure of visiting one of the most beautiful places in the Midwest – the Frederik Meijer Gardens and Sculpture Park in Grand Rapids, Michigan. I accompanied my husband, Bob, to a meeting there. Bob is a sculptor himself and has been telling me about the park for a very long time. It was delightful and a bit awe inspiring to see so many pieces of contemporary sculpture situated in beautifully landscaped surroundings. Currently there is an exhibit of George Rickey’s kinetic sculpture that is truly amazing. The pieces move very gently with the wind and they remind me of gentle giants.

I had a weird reaction after being there for a while.